Love and Affection
(Brief Excerpt from my Upcoming Book, “The Orientation of the Heart: An Exposition of the Epistle of James”)
“Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein. We have an altar, whereof they have no right to eat which serve the tabernacle.”
Hebrews 13:9-10
The passage from Hebrews 13, begins with an exhortation for us to not be carried away with all sorts of strange teachings. If the warning is there, it is obviously possible that being carried away is an option. Have you ever thought about this? Being carried away by a strange teaching? For whatever reason, I picture the Caveman hitting the Lady Caveman on the head with a club and then running off with her. Ridiculous right? But it does bring something interesting into the conversation, namely, the idea of affection and love. There are basically four primary categories of love[1]. These categories of love are Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape. Each of these categories has been built or constructed around a different Greek Word communicating the idea of a specific type of love. I will share how I utilize these words, to avoid any miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Storge is your basic and instinctual or general love or affection. It has a wide range of application from the love of family to the love that you are communicating when you say that you love a coat or a hotdog. Nothing special about it. But it garners a bit of your attention and subsequently your affection. When I say affection, I am talking about something that produces a desire strong enough to motivate your will or dictate your choices. It isn’t an emotion or a want, per se. It is a type of compulsory urge that determines your behavior. Therefore, when we are talking about categories of love, we must understand that each category of love carries with it a corresponding weight and level of affection. In many cases, Storge is the lowest category of love and consequently carries with it the least amount of affection. The next category, Philia means to deal with a type of brotherly love or even a type of friendship love. This carries a greater level of affection than Storge does and as a result, has the power to expel or force the lesser love and affection out of the way to make room for the greater affection.[2] And on it goes. Eros or Romantic Love can breakdown and expel even the greatest of friendships. And nothing can compare with Agape or God’s Love when it is experienced in its fullness. Make no mistake, this hierarchy can be easily rearranged, and often is, to our detriment.
Back to our exhortation from Hebrews and our Caveman. Caveman first. He bonks the Cavewoman on the head and carries her off because he has an affection for her. She goes because she is coerced (violently!). You probably aren’t going to be carried off forcibly into a strange or heretical doctrine. But you may be guilty of willingly running off with one. Why? Because it may appeal to one of your affections. After all, you are probably not going to be swept up in something that doesn’t appeal or attract you.
Solomon is a perfect example of this. He was favored by God and the wisest man (outside of Christ) that ever lived. God gave him a very specific instruction concerning how he should conduct his life. Yet, Solomon did not always adhere to these instructions. No. In 1st Kings 11.9 we are told, “And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice”. And if we turn to Nehemiah, we find the reason for Solomon’s transgression. In Nehemiah 13.26 we read, “Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.” Do you see that? His “Eros”, or romantic love, forced out his “Agape”, or Godly Love. Even the wisest can be led astray through the power of affection or “love” perverted and defiled.
Therefore, we might ask in response, if the wisest can be led astray, what hope is there for the rest of us? Just this. Do you remember that long and complicated phrase that I shared with you before: The expulsive power of a superior affection? Affections are more than just emotions and simple desires. They are inclinations, flowing from one of the four loves, that produce a desire strong enough to motivate your will and dictate your actions. Basically, all it means is that a greater affection will force out smaller affections. In Solomon, we discussed the idea of this working in the negative. However, it can also function for the good. A greater affection for the good can force out or expel a lesser affection for the evil. But the power of affections doesn’t end there.
In addition, a greater affection cannot be removed by a lesser affection. It is kind of like an aspect of the game of basketball. Have you ever watched a basketball game? Well, what does everyone do when someone shoots the ball? They kind of crowd around the goal post, down in the paint in anticipation of a missed shot. Because if the shot is missed, everyone is going to try and get the rebound. What happens during these brief moments is called “boxing out”. Players will try and dominate a space and prevent someone else from getting closer to the rim than they are. Often there is a lot of pushing and shoving while everyone is vying for the best spot. This is what is happening with your affections. With your “loves”. Each one is pushing and shoving and fighting for the optimum spot closest to the seat of all your affections, namely, the heart. And just like in basketball, the bigger and stronger win. A minimal affection or love for God cannot keep out a consuming passion for sex. But the reverse is also true. If your affection for God becomes strong enough, the temptation for a sexual escapade will have little or no power in your life. It all comes down to what is the most potent affection in your life.
Solomon’s issue was that his affection for women overshadowed and “boxed out” his affection for God. His affection for God wasn’t strong enough to dominate the “paint” of his heart and ultimately led to his downfall. He was carried away by strange teaching and idolatry because of a heart issue. This is why the author of Hebrews, immediately follows this conversation with the statement, “It is good for our hearts to be established by grace ...” What is the author doing? Well, he is laboring the point that there needs to be an affection or love in our heart that is strong enough and big enough, to have the capability to establish our hearts firmly and not be moved from it. He goes one step further. He even names what that affection must be: grace. The only way that there can be an affection powerful enough to keep us planted firmly in God is to see it through the lens of grace. To see everything through the lens of God’s giving us Himself. This is what has the power to establish our hearts.
[1] This categorization is owed, in at least some measure, to the preceding work of C.S. Lewis.
[2] Thomas Chalmers wrote an amazing treatise on this idea, he named it “The Expulsive Power of a Superior Affection”. It is worth reading.